Please Help Me, I'm Crazy!

By Peggy

Here I am…in the psychiatric ward! My family had me committed because I couldn't eat, wouldn't clean the house, wouldn't cook, refused to come out of my room. I spend all of my time on the computer, looking for new pictures, or new news about Antonio.

Or…I'm watching entertainment programs on TV, waiting for an Antonio sighting, or waiting for any little bit of news about him. If not TV, watching any one of his movies for the 50th or 100th time. I can't sleep because I'm afraid I WON'T dream about Antonio, so I stay awake so I can daydream instead.

They think they are helping me here. They are NOT!! Everyone here looks like Antonio, acts like Antonio. Such torture!!! I get deeper and deeper into my obsession every day.

First there is the man across the hall. Ricky is his name. He is beautiful, I could be very happy with him, …but he only calls HER name… Juan has a thing for his sister of all things, and Angel passes out every time they prick his finger for a blood test.

They brought in a Miguel Alvarez. He was heart-broken because his lover died of AIDS. They thought they could 'straighten' him out. Pedro and Che have their heads together in the corner most of the time. I think they are trying to figure out some ways to right a lot of the wrongs in the world, as we know it.

There was another Antonio here for awhile, but they took him off to jail. It seems that he was implicated in some murder. Marcos did a very detailed story on it for the daily newspaper.

Just down the hall, Miguel Bain (now there's a real heart breaker), if only….but he is obsessed with being #1 …and some guy by the name of Rath. You figure it out!

Sometimes they call entertainment in to get our minds off of our troubles. The most popular entertainer around here is a sexy man dressed in black (and it's not Johnny Cash). He has large, expressive, brown eyes and a long, dark ponytail. He plays guitar and sings. They call him El Mariachi. I worry about him, though, because I think Miguel feels that he is a threat, somehow.

They frequently bring in a pair of artists to give us a taste of culture. These artists take turns giving us art lessons. Bart teaches on Mondays and Wednesdays. Art teaches us on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On Fridays we get a special treat because the two of them pose in the nude so we can sketch them. Ooh la la!

On Saturday nights, a Latin band comes in so we can dance. They have a sexy trumpet player. I think his name is Nestor. He always looks so sad. Rumor has it that a Chica by the name of Maria is responsible.

Then, there is gorgeous Tony Ramirez. He comes here frequently, dropping off other mentally tortured souls. The latest one was a Sarah…or Diane something Taylor. She is in solitary confinement. She must have been a tough one. When he left he was holding his chest like it hurt him.

We have a male nurse. Antonio takes such good care of us all, but an older, married woman gives him quite a problem. It seems that she won't leave him alone.

Two masked men roam the halls here frequently. Don't know what they are up to. Eric calls himself the Phantom Ghost and wears a white mask over the right half of his face. The other one's name is Zorro and he wears a black mask over the top half of his face. They never appear at the same time, and I think Alejandro tries to keep them apart, because we always see him when the other two are gone.

The head shrink sees us twice a day for half an hour. Dr. Francisco Leal….he hasn't done me a bit of good. Every time he walks in, they have to scrape me off of the floor. And the sad part of it is, he takes pictures of the whole thing.

They don't hold out much hope for me. We meet with Dr. Leal once a week for a review of our progress. There doesn't seem to be any improvement in my condition. From all indications, I think I've found my permanent home.