I knew I was in bad shape. Constant headaches. Nagging backaches. Feeling depressed. I dreaded going to the doctor. It couldn't be the onset of the change, no, I was too young. I was afraid of what it was. And afraid to go find out. But finally, I became tired of being afraid.
I was poked and prodded and tested. Other than needing to lose some weight, there was physically nothing wrong with me. I was relieved, but still troubled. I knew something deep down was causing my problem. My doctor referred me to a therapist he thought would be able to help me.
The day of my appointment came, and I drove to the Antonio Banderas Obsession Clinic. I walked in and looked for the office with the name I had on my appointment card: Dr. A. Murietta. The office door was open, and I walked in to see a man standing and looking out the window. He turned to face me. "Good morning, senorita." "Dr. uh, Mu-ri-e-tta?" "Yes, I am Dr. Murietta. You are Gina?" "Yes, Doctor." "Come, Gina." He motioned for me to sit in a nearby chair as he went to his filing cabinet to get a file.
"I have reviewed your case, and I believe I can help you, Gina." "Really?" "Yes, but you have to be willing to help me help you." "I'll try, Doctor." I said somewhat reluctantly.
"So Gina, have you ever been here before?" "Oh, for seminars and concerts, things like that." "No, I meant have you ever been in this office before?" "No." "Well, it belonged to someone that you know quite a bit about. "Oh?" "Yes, you know who Tyrone Power is?" "Oh sure, he was a famous actor in the 1940's." I paused. "This was his office? He was here?" "Yes, this was his office. Look, there are pictures of him on the wall." I looked at the wall. "And there he is in the role that made his career. He was a good Zorro. You've seen the movie? You agree?" "Oh sure, it's been years since I've seen it, I guess he was okay in it. Uh, doctor, shouldn't we get to my case?" "We have been Gina."
Dr. Murietta took my hand and led me to a side door. "It's time for us to leave the office Gina." "Leave the office?" "We've had enough in the office for now, we're going on a field trip."
We walked through the door, his hand gently resting on my shoulder. We were in a strange place. A dusty street that looked like it was in the Old West. But not real. And familiar. "You've been here before haven't you Gina?" "Yes, I'm trying to remember. This isn't real. It's a set for a movie, no, a television show, isn't it?" he nodded. "Your family was on vacation, and they weren't going to come here, but you" "I cried and begged my parents to let me come," I added. "And what happened, Gina?" "I wanted to see him." "See who?" "Zorro." I whispered. "And did you?" "Yes, I did." "What did you do?" "I walked right up to him and tugged at his sleeve." "Yes, and what else?" "I sang the entire Zorro song to him." "What did your parents say?" "Oh, they said that I was my usual fearless self. Jumping right in without thinking."
Dr. Murietta took my hand again, and we turned and walked to a small white house. "Do you know this place, Gina?" "I lived here when I was a little girl." We went in the house and walked downstairs to the basement. He turned on the light and pointed up to a ceiling beam. "Do you know what that is, Gina?" I looked up, and the memories came rushing back. "My parents weren't home. My big brother was upstairs in his room and I took his woodburning set to the basement. I wasn't allowed to touch it." "But you did." "Oh, yes. I loved that big wand. I thought it looked like a a" "A what?" "A sword." "What did you do with it?" "I plugged it in and carved "Z"'s all over the basement beams." "Didn't you think you'd get in trouble?" "Well, that was my trouble. I never thought about consequences. I just jumped in and did things. And yes, I did get in trouble. My parents said I could have burned the house down." I smiled at the memory. "And did they cover the "Z"s?" "No, no they never did."
The doctor took me by the hand again, and we were outside at what looked like a huge old amusement park. We walked to the western rides, and there was a huge rearing black horse. "You've been here haven't you Gina?" "Yes, my family was visiting my uncle out west, and we came to this park. They had all these little horses to sit on. But I saw the huge rearing black horse. I wanted to sit on him. They all said he was too high up for me. But I insisted on sitting on him." "And did you?" "Oh, yes, and I had a big stick that I whizzed through the air in a big "Z", and I yelled, 'Zorro, Zorro, the fox so cunning and free, Zorro, Zorro, who makes the sign of the Z." "You have such a clear memory of that moment Gina." "Well, they took a picture of me doing that." I laughed. "And where is the picture now?" "It's in a big frame in my parent's house. It's always been my family's favorite picture of me. They said I looked absolutely . . ." I trailed off. "Absolutely?" "Fearless." I said quietly.
The doctor gently turned me away and we were back in his office. He removed a paper from a folder and handed it to me. "Does that look familiar to you?" I turned from him and held it up to the sunlight from the window. "Oh, yes, this was a classroom assignment. We were supposed to write to someone heroic. Everyone else wrote to a real person. I wrote to an imaginary Zorro." "No Gina, you wrote to the legendary Zorro." "Well, legendary or not, my letter was silly and childish." "No Gina, I appreciated every word that you wrote to me in that letter."
I turned to look at him. He was dressed all in black. With a mask. And a cape. "Dr. Murietta?"
"Gina, I am Zorro." I sat down quickly in the chair nearest to me with my mouth opened in shock, breathing now quite heavily. He quickly came over to me, kneeling and he took my hand. "I understand your shock. Sometimes I have that effect."
"I, I came to this office to get better. I don't understand." "Yes, you do Gina. You think that loving Zorro was only a childhood fantasy. And when you saw the new Zorro movie, you couldn't understand what was happening to you. Everyone else liked it. But you loved it. And you wanted to see it over and over again. But you were afraid to admit it."
"Is
that why I'm depressed? Is Zorro what I'm looking for?" "No Gina.
You've known the answer all along. You just forgot where the sense of the miraculous
was in everyday life."
"And now Gina, it's time for us to take a little trip." "A little
trip?" "Yes, Gina. You've always wanted to go riding with me. Haven't
you?" I nodded. He opened the door and there was Tornado, his huge beautiful
black horse. He took my hand in his and gently kissed it. "Oh, Gina, I
almost forgot. I have a little gift for you." From out of nowhere, he produced
a lovely, fragrant red rose. He mounted the horse and held out his hand to me.
"Come Gina. Let me help you up." He seemed to sense my reluctance.
"Come. I will be beside you all the way." I took his hand and he swung
me up to him. He took the rose from my hand and twined it in my hair. "Are
you still afraid?" he leaned and whispered in my ear. I turned to look
at his searching and kind eyes. I smiled at him. "No. No. I feel absolutely
fearless!" He laughed, and we rode away on his fearsome steed Tornado,
riding like the wind.
| Image Courtesy of Janet-Sunshine |
If
you wish to use the images you find here in your own home page, please
make sure to provide your visitors with our link: http://miguapo.com/ |