Passion at Price Slasher's

by Debel

Fluorescent lighting does nothing to improve a vampire’s pallor, especially if you’re standing in the fresh produce section of the local supermarket. The mountain of broccoli we were standing next to cast it’s emerald glow onto Armand’s face and made me smile in spite of the argument we were having. He had accosted me in the dark and lonely wasteland that is Price Slasher’s parking lot at 11:30 p.m. In his seductive voice he let me know in no uncertain terms that I was to cease and desist with all fan stories concerning himself and Antonio Banderas.

I told him in my heavily accented southern drawl, "Bite me." and marched into the store. It was just too damn cold to stand and chit chat with him.

I could feel him hovering close behind me, sucking all the warmth out of my body, as I grabbed one of the shopping carts. It’s back wheels didn’t roll and the front ones only wanted to turn to the right. Stubbornly, I pushed my way down the cereal isle, fighting the almost sinister intelligence of the cart and it’s need to thwart me, pretending to ignore the relentless monotone coming from behind me.

"You have no right! It’s trash! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Have you no shame? You have to rip off other people’s character’s for your own warped amusement."

My fingers tightened around a box of ‘Lumpy Charms’ and I slammed it into the empty cart. I glared at him, "Did Anne Rice send you?" He just glared back.

"I may be a hack writer, but I enjoy what I do and you’re not going to stop me! Besides, what are you gripping about? I’ve given you a whole hell of a lot of more attention than you got in "Interview with the Vampire!" I turned my back and forced my cart forward with gritted teeth and a muttered, "ingrate!"

We moved into fresh fruit. I spied a luscious mound of apricots. My stomach growled. I was overcome with a sudden rush of madness. My fingers wrapped themselves around the soft, flesh-like golden nugget and heedless of pesticides I sank my teeth into its delectable unwashed flesh. The juice trickled down my chin.

A look of smugness came over his face as he murmured softly, "Her last book she devoted entirely to me. Have you read it?"

I gently took his cold hand in mine, the palm up as I straightened the fingers with their beautiful long nails. The apricot pit dropped neatly into it and I curled the fingers over it, grinning evilly at him as I replied, "Nope."

"I don’t believe you!" was said in a startled gasp to my back as I made my way to the fresh produce section and the mound of emerald green broccoli. We stood facing each other; Armand’s face crestfallen as he sighed, "You’re just mean. Bone deep mean. The others warned me, but I didn’t believe them."

"Others?" I asked. A note of real interest in my voice.

Armand picked up a cauliflower head and started bouncing it from hand to hand. He didn’t look up as he replied nonchalantly, "The chicas at the web mall."

I quirked an eyebrow and then grabbed the lapels of his impeccably tailored coat in both my fists, jerking him forward. The cauliflower thudded to the floor as I hissed into his face, "Josee sent you didn’t she! Don’t lie to me you little bloodsucker! Louie’s waiting outside to pounce on me isn’t he?"

Armand’s great dark eyes glittered in the fluorescent lighting as it hummed overhead and his mouth curved in a knowing smile as he brought his hands up to cup my angry face. His hands smelled faintly of cauliflower and apricot pits.

"Louie isn’t waiting outside, my little irritated one. Do you really think he could be bothered to come out on a night such as this?"

I stared hypnotized into his face and would have shaken my head but he had it firmly captured, all I could manage was a feeble, "unh uhh."

His lips moved against my ear and I felt a wetness .........the automatic sprinklers had come on to spray the veggies. We were standing too close; I was getting soaked.

Armand continued in his music of the night voice, "Anne didn’t send me either. I was curious about you, rather like a person is curious when they pass a hideous car wreck on the highway. One simply can’t pass without a glance."

"Gee, thanks," I mumbled.

He studied my face as he asked, "What can I give you in return for all the amusement you have given me?"

I rolled my eyes to heaven and paused dramatically as I pondered long and hard, "A kiss will do. It’s the only way to end this story you know."

So, there we stood, next to the broccoli in the fresh produce isle, locked in a passionate embrace, the sprinklers sending a rainbow of mist over the veggies as a lone stockboy pushed his creaking load of boxes slowly by. His mouth dropping a little wider as he took in my hands gripped tightly to Armand’s perfectly formed buttocks.

 

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