Phantasy of the Opera

By Sweeper T.

What on earth is wrong with that idiot stage manager now?" I muttered to myself, tossing my "furs" over my shoulder. "Its not as though this is a Broadway production! The way he is carrying on - 'Eric needs this! Eric needs that!' Pah! Its no one but a stand-in for that useless Malcolm LaPlume who had a 'crisis with his voice.' "

As usual, I, Salma Tee, was going to have to carry the show with my delightfully full-bodied performance as Carotta (as the Broken Arrow Times described it.) "Lord knows what the Bismark, North Dakota Gazette will have to say about this nameless stand-in for Malcolm," I said to myself.

Ready, dearest?" my costar called. Lester, who was playing the role of Ubaldo Piangi - Carlotta's tenor counterpart, was hastily preparing his voice with his usual "bourbon blast" as he called it. Just as I was applying last minute safety glue to my false eyelashes I looked up and spotted a flawless red rose which had been attached to my mirror - with a note.

Dear Miss Tee," I read, "Please forgive my impertinance for appearing unexpectedly as Eric, The Phantom. I am honored to be able to rehearse my role with your touring company and look forward to working with you this evening. Yours, Antonio Banderas."

ANTONIO BANDERAS!!!!!!!!!! Antonio Banderas would be singing the role of Eric opposite that pathetic anorexic wimpy chit, Molly Smith! Hah!

fumed my way through Act I while "Christine" widened her big vacuous cow eyes and screeched out her role. "Think of me, think of me waiting silent and resigned." Even in this pathetic little theatre in Bismark they had to crank her puny little wheezing voice up. Whereas when Antonio came on as Eric, the audience really sat up and took notice. His rich Spanish voice caressed each note - "Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams! Purge your thoughts of the life you lived before! Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar! And you'll live as you've never lived before…"

He was singing just to me! I was sure of it! All through the show I was mesmorized by his rich, seductive voice filling my head with lustfull thoughts. Backstage I was tearing at my hair in desperation. I just needed to get closer to him! If only I could get closer! Oh! It was the scene at the graveyard now - Eric singing to Christine on top of her father's tomb. "Come to me Angel of Music! I am your Angel of Music..." Molly was raising her skinny little arms to him. Not beautiful soft woman's arms, but skinny little girl arms. "Hah! A man like Antonio Banderas needs a Real Woman!" I thought, "And I'm going to do something about it!"

Ignoring the Stage Manager's calls for me -- "Hssst! Hsssst! Salma, its your cue!!" -- I rushed to Molly's dressing room and quickly coshed her over the head with my purse. Then I wriggled my beautiful womanly form into her sad little skrimpy costume. O.K., so it gaped a bit in the back. Locking her in her dressing room, I rushed out onto the stage just in time for Antonio to grab my hand and pull me down into the depths of the Opera House with Raoul in pursuit!

Raoul did a bit of a double take just before "Eric" slipped the Punjab Lasso around his neck and sang "nothing can save you now - except perhaps Christine..."

"Stop gawking!" I hissed at Raoul, "people will think you have really been hung the way your eyes are popping out! Its only me!"

Suddenly Antonio twirled me in his arms and spun me up against his hard body. "The point of no return..." he sang. "How I have longed to sink my hands into your flesh!" he whispered to me as he did just that, pulling me up against him by the hips.

I stared breathlessly into his one heartbreakingly beautiful brown eye and sang "God give me courage to show you you are not alone!" And then I pulled his face to mine for one heart-stopping kiss. Madly, I fought for control as our twin firey natures blazed recklessly in wild abandon.

Eventually I heard a roaring in my ears. It was the audience! "Wooooo! Hoooooo!" they were shouting. Dizzily I stumbled to Raoul and fell flat on my face as I whispered out my last words " say the word and I will follow you!" While Raoul sang,"Share each day with me!" And I answered (thinking not of Raoul, but of someone else) "each night...each morning."

And Eric sang his final line, "You alone can make my song take flight - its over now, the music of the night…"

And we all disappeared in a mysterious plume of purple smoke. Only the glowing half mask of the Phantom remained.