As told by Dr. Francisco Leal, to his faithful secretary, JoAnn

It was just like any other day in my office. The usual patients came and went…some with difficulties in trying to overcome childhood traumas, others whom had lost loved ones, or suffered in their lives, especially lately. I do what I can to help them, for as long as I am able to do so. My name is Dr. Francisco Leal, and I’m a trained, certified psychiatrist. The military coup that just recently took control of my country, Chile, may soon make my kind of psychiatric care impossible for the average person to afford…and make it impossible for me to offer it, to anyone. I am careful. Javier, my brother, has been threatened at the university, where he teaches, with expulsion. My other brother, Jose, the priest, has been roughed up by the military for trying to help his people. It is a difficult time. I walk a fine line. But I will do what I can. My brother, Jose, has told me in secret about a new underground forming, called the Shadows. He tells me I am needed there. Perhaps I should…

My attention was drawn from my troubles by the appearance of my secretary, JoAnn. I smiled at her, a slightly plump but still attractive woman in her early 40’s. Her long brown hair curled around her shoulders as she leaned into the doorway to tell me my next patient had arrived. I closed my notebook from my last patient and opened a fresh file for this new patient. I took a moment to study what the patient had told JoAnn over the phone about her condition. Hmm, an obsession problem. These are difficult to treat, I knew. I would do what I could to help her. I ran a hand through my hair and pulled my brown tweed jacket on and straightened my tie…it would do well to appear as professional as possible, the first time with a patient. I did hold my profession in high esteem, and tried to be an upstanding member of the psychiatric community. That was until I met her, of course…

I stood up as she entered the room, and the moment I saw her, I felt myself physically respond to her. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Her long, curling dark hair seemed to float around her like a cloud. It was so long, it hung just past her shapely rear end, hidden from my view by her swirling cinnamon colored skirt. She wore a shockingly tight yellow sweater, cut low enough in front to threaten to spill her more than ample breasts out with the next healthy breath she might take. I swallowed hard and tried to focus on other areas less dangerous, like her face, but that was my true downfall. Her face was like an angel’s, and the moment I laid eyes on her huge, dark eyes and full, red lips, I knew I was in trouble…deep trouble. I had to do something, and do it now. I walked back behind my desk and motioned for her to lie on the couch, mumbling a feeble hello. I knew she probably thought I had a terrible bedside manner, but since right now, the one place I wanted to see her was IN my bed, I thought it was best she thought this. I sat down in my office chair, looking at her file, and trying to pull myself together. The sweat beaded on my upper lip, and the tightness in my body was growing unbearable. Maybe a quick trip to the water cooler would help, yes, that would be a good idea, then…

“Dr. Leal?” she asked, turning her head towards me as she lay on the couch. I looked up and saw her there, with her hair falling in all directions from the couch like a chocolate waterfall, and I (I could not believe this) actually groaned aloud at the sight of her. “Are you all right, Dr. Leal?” she said, rising up on one arm in concern. I felt ashamed at my lack of self-control, and cleared my throat.

“Yes, I am fine…I am so sorry, it has been a…hard day,” I said, knowing she had no idea how hard some things were right at that moment. Por Dios, get me through this appointment, I prayed. She lay back down, giving a little sigh I found delightful. I knew there was no way I could see this patient again. I should cancel the appointment right now, tell her something has come up….oh no, let me put that another way, I thought miserably…

“I really need your help, Dr. Leal,” she sighed, looking up at the ceiling with a frown. My compassion grew more than my...other emotions, and I sat back in my chair. Just the one appointment, I thought to myself. “Tell me more,” I quietly urged, and she began her story.

“Well, it all began when I went to go see a film by that new Spanish actor, the one from Spain…do you know him?”

“No, I do not go to the cinema much anymore,” I said. “Tell me how this relates to your problem, Miss…Miss…” I searched the file for her name. Dios mio, I didn’t even get that far in my reading!

“It’s Elena,” she said, “Elena Montenegro.” I nodded, thinking how the name Elena suited her. Sexy, sweet and mysterious. I shifted in my chair uncomfortably and nodded to her. “Yes, Miss Montenegro, tell me how…”

“Please…call me Elena, por favor? I’d prefer it.” I looked down at the file again, trying to hide my reaction from her. Nothing would please me more than to call her by her first name, to feel it roll off my tongue, preferably whispered in her ear…I knew I should not be having these thoughts. But I was helpless.

“Elena…” I said, in a much deeper voice than I had intended. She seemed to notice it…her eyes darkened and she turned away, licking her upper lip in a way that made me want to explode out of my chair and take her. I gritted my teeth hard and said, “Tell me about your feelings, Elena, and why they disturb you.”

“It all started when I saw a film with that new Spanish actor I mentioned…his name is Antonio, something or other, I can’t recall his last name! Isn’t that strange? All I can think of, ever since I saw him, is him…I can’t seem to think about any other man, Doctor. I can’t seem to think of much of anything but him! I am worried about myself…I looked it up, in the medical book I got from the library, and it says this is an obsession. Is that what this is?”

I had spent the last several moments letting my eyes linger on the rise and fall of her breasts as she spoke. I realized I was only vaguely aware of what she had said, and I knew this was the height of irresponsibility on my part. What was the matter with me? I leaned forward on the desk, and said, “Obsessions often emerge when other parts of our lives are lacking. Do you feel you are lacking in some areas of your life, Elena? Tell me about them.” I struggled to maintain what little control I had over myself, as I looked at Elena and waited for her to sort out her answer. She caught her little pink tongue at the corner of her mouth as she thought, and I wanted to be that tongue more than anything else in the world. I could feel the sweat pouring down my body under my tweed jacket, and I prayed for strength.

She closed her eyes, apparently having found something, and I took up my pen and pad, ready to make notes. “It’s so…embarrassing, Dr. Leal,” she said, her eyes still closed as if to offer herself a modicum of privacy.

“Tell me, Elena,” I urged gently. “I do want to help you.”

She kept her eyes closed, and began to talk. “Well, Dr. Leal…it’s in the…sexual areas of my life that I am lacking, I guess,” she said, her hands crossing themselves over her belly as if addressing the area of the problem. “When I see this young Spanish actor, I just feel…oh, so many things, I’ve never felt before…”

I closed my own eyes for a moment, drowning in the desire I felt at her words. I could relate, definitely. “Yes, go on,” I said, my voice sounding strange to my own ears.

She was too deep into her reflections to notice. “I just feel so…wonderful, warm, excited…I don’t know why this is, just looking at him makes me weak, and I feel…I feel…” She stammered, unsure how much she should say. “Go on,” I said again, this time wanting to hear it for myself, not as her doctor. I knew I should be shot for this.

“I just feel alive, all over my body, like a big wave of heat flows over me,” she said, unconsciously drawing her hands over her belly, and up the sides of her breasts, coming to caress her face. It was like watching someone being made love to. I could no longer contain myself. I stood up and came around the side of my desk and stood over the couch. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. I could see the pupils of her eyes grow larger as she regarded me, her red lips opening with surprise.

“You…you look a lot like him, you know,” she said in a whisper, and it was I who was surprised when she reached up and grabbed the belt of my pants and pulled me down onto the couch, on top of her. My right hand came in contact with one yellow-covered, firm, round breast, and from that moment, I was incapable of conscious thought. Her mouth sought mine, and the moment our lips touched, her sweet tongue plunged inside, drawing me into her world of obsession. I had no complaint. I wanted to go there with her. I shrugged off my jacket as she began to undo my tie. I knew this was insanity, but the only thing I could think at that moment was to be inside her, now, as deep and hard as I could, and never stop. I could feel her hands on my back as she pulled my blue shirt out of the waistband of my trousers. My fingers were surprisingly nimble as I unbuttoned her yellow sweater, kissing my way down her delicious bosom. I wanted her with a passion I had never felt before, for any woman. I was light-headed, and dizzy, and it was so good. She opened her legs and pulled me closer to her, and the feel of her sweet heat through my clothing was almost my undoing. Her long skirt was bunched up at her waist as she wrapped her legs around me, and I pulled aside her lacy white bra and buried my face in her breasts, gasping and panting with need. Her small cries of desire urged me on. Her scent, like roses and lavender combined, filled my senses, and I couldn’t wait to plunge myself into her, again and again and again…

Suddenly I heard a sharp knock at the door. “Dr. Leal? Your mother is on line one!” I stopped cold. It was JoAnn! I pulled up my head and looked at the door, the horror at what JoAnn would have seen if she had opened it splashing over me like a cold rain. “Tell her I will return her call in an hour,” I said, in what I hoped was a normal voice.

I turned back to Elena. What was I doing here, on my psychiatric couch, with a patient, during a therapy session? A small voice inside said, “You were about to have the best sex of your life,” but I pushed this voice aside. I pushed myself up on my arms, and looked down at her. Her bruised lips, the tousled dark hair, the flushed appearance of her face…she already looked like a woman well loved, and I hadn’t even gotten very far yet. “Elena,” I said, my voice showing my conflict between desire and responsibility, violating a trust and passion. “I am so sorry, I…” She stopped me, seeming to understand.

“It’s all right, Dr. Leal, “ she said, running her hands soothingly up my arms, as if comforting me in my shock. “I wanted it to happen. I really don’t have an obsession with an actor. I have one with you. I work across the street, and I have watched you every day, going in and out of this building, for years. I didn’t know what to do, how to approach you, how to get you to see me…so I decided to…pretend to be a patient.” She looked down, obviously thinking I would be angry with her. I was completely the opposite. I was charmed and flattered, beyond belief.

“Elena,” I said, drawing her chin up with my hand, forcing her to look me in the eyes. “I no longer want to see you as my patient.”

“I understand,” she said, her bottom lip quivering a little. I couldn’t help smiling. She was adorable.

“Yes, I no longer want to see you as my patient. However, I would like to see you over a dinner table, tonight. Do you think that could be possible?”

Her eyes suddenly brightened, and she said, “YES!” and threw her arms around me. I knew there would be something wonderful between us. And I wasn’t thinking about just dinner. We got up off the couch and got dressed, giggling like guilty teenagers as we helped each other redo the buttons of our clothes. I buzzed JoAnn and told her, “Cancel my appointments for tomorrow, JoAnn…I have discovered something important that will take all of my attention.” I smiled at Elena as she sat on the edge of my desk. The light in her eyes told me that it might take even longer than tomorrow…or the next day…or even eternity…

I’d say more, but I do have a high sense of honor, you know…it wouldn’t do to reveal the intimate details, now would it? Well, I’d better sign off now…my wife, Elena, is sitting here, curling a strand of my hair around her finger. She has a definite way of expressing her needs to me…and I don’t want to miss a thing.

There is still the matter of Jose’s request to join the Shadows…I know that I will say yes. But that is another story…and the end of this one.

Image courtesy of Janet-Sunshine

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