By Chris H.

This was turning out to be a most interesting vacation. Several months ago, I decided that this would be the summer that I would finally take off a couple of weeks and follow the Grateful Dead around. Be a real Deadhead. My friends all teased me about the stickers on my VW van, and called me their Deadhead friend, but I knew I didn’t really qualify. I had never seen more than three shows in a row, and those were all in the same city. But this summer, I was doing it! I had just got back to my van after the first show of my little mini-tour, humming “Sugar Magnolia.”

I didn’t plan to spend the entire two weeks sleeping in the back of my van, but I thought camping for a couple of nights would be fun. I could still hear the sounds of Jerry’s guitar in my mind, but it was a confused memory, because I could hear the sounds of tapes from my neighboring campers. I flopped onto the mattress in the back of the van, stared at the roof and tried to remember all the songs the band had played that night. What was the last song of the first set?

I couldn’t think of it, and dozed off. I awoke suddenly when someone bumped into the van. I couldn’t remember exactly where I was at first, but I did gradually wake up enough to realize that I needed to find the campground’s bathroom. I must have slept for several hours, because it had gotten much quieter. Most of the lights that had been on earlier were no longer shining. I slipped out into the darkness and picked my way through the trees to the bathroom.

When I came out of the little building, I heard a voice. No, not a voice, almost a hissing sound. And did I really hear it, or just feel it? It gave me the shivers, and I looked over my shoulder as I hurried back toward the van. Maybe this camping alone wasn’t such a good idea after all, I thought. I glanced over my shoulder again, then suddenly felt a presence right in front of me. I opened my mouth to scream, but the apparition in front of me raised his (his?) hand and I couldn’t make a sound.

I stood staring at him. He didn’t look all that different from many of the other campers here, but he was dressed completely in black. His face was very pale against his long black hair, which hung loose down his back. I wondered if he was sick, or if he was really high on something. “No,” he whispered, and I recognized the voice I had heard when I came from the bathroom. “No?” I repeated it as a question. “I am not high on something. That is what you were thinking.”

“How did you know that? I asked. This guy was really giving me the creeps. His eyes were seeing too much, and I could almost feel him putting thoughts in my head. His voice was very strange. Heavily accented, but I couldn’t tell what the accent was. I wanted to get away from him. “Do not be frightened of me,” he whispered. “You are not like the others here. I won’t harm you.”

I stood staring at him. It was as if he was controlling my ability to move. I finally dropped my eyes, and said, “you aren’t much like anyone else here, either. I mean you don’t seem like much of a Deadhead.” He laughed. “No, I am not, although I find this community of ‘Deadheads’ very interesting. But you are new here, aren’t you?”

“How do you know that?” I demanded.

“Don’t worry about that. Come with me. Back to your van.”

“Have you been following me? How do you know I have a van? I am not going anywhere with you!”

“Yes, you are, Chris. That is what your friends call you, but I like Christine better. You will be Christine to me.” His hand reached and touched mine. His hand was very cool to the touch, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t pull my hand away. He said, “come Christine.” I walked along with him and he led me straight to my van.

“How do you do that?” I whispered.

“Don’t be concerned with that, Christine. I only want to get to know you better. I will not do anything that you don’t want me to do.”

He opened the door and stepped in and pulled me in. His strength was frightening. I was terrified, but I could not scream or run away. He sat down on the mattress and said, “Sit down Christine.”

I did what he told me. His hand reached up and brushed against the skin of my face. I was amazed again at how cold his touch was.

He continued to touch my face, running his fingers over my eyes, along the side of my nose and across my lips. I felt like a fly caught in a web, and he was the spider trying to decide whether to eat me now or save me for later. He smiled, and I knew he was reading my thoughts again. I started repeating please don’t kill me over and over in my mind, hoping he might choose to find another victim for whatever he had planned for me.

The smile on his face slowly changed to a frown. “No,” he said, “It has to be you. And I am not going to kill you.”

“But you do kill don’t you?” I trembled as his hand touched me again.

“Yes. I have killed many, many times. No more questions.”

His lips touched mine, just brushing across them. So cold, but I felt the heat rising through my body. I looked into his eyes and I suddenly wanted him to touch me all over. I wanted him to kiss me again. He smiled again. “Ah, I see you have changed your mind. And yes, I will kiss you again. I will be glad when you can read my thoughts, this talking wastes too much energy.”

He kissed me, his lips sucking against mine as he pushed me back against the side of the van. I forgot about the coldness of his skin as his hands unbuttoned the front of my dress. I could only feel heat. He slipped my dress off my shoulders, then turned my back away from the van wall. He kissed me again and pushed me down on the mattress. I couldn’t have resisted him if I wanted. He ran a long fingernail from my chin all the way to the waistline of my panties. He slipped them off and smiled again at me.

He ran his tongue from my neck to my breast. The touch of his lips on my hardened nipple made me feel flushed all over. He laughed a little at my reaction. His hand slipped between my legs and pulled them apart. His fingers explored my body, teasing me until he found the place that made me moan with pleasure. My back arched upward when he touched me, his finger rubbing over that spot until I could no longer hold back. I cried out as the rush of pleasure poured over me and moaned as I gasped for air.

He watched me as I my breathing slowed and returned to normal. He was smiling, and finally said, “I believe that pleased you?”

I nodded then said, “But you. What about you…” I suddenly flushed with embarrassment. He laughed loudly. “Ah, Christine, don’t be embarrassed that you do not know my name. It is Armand. And no, I don’t need for you to give me sexual pleasure. As you have sensed, I am not like other men. But there is something you can give me.”

“Wh-what?” I stammered, once more fearing what he might do.

“This,” he whispered. He licked my neck, then I felt a sudden sharp pain. I gasped, but the pain lessened, then disappeared. My mind clouded over. I can vaguely remember that it was very dark and I couldn’t see anything, but I can’t remember what I was thinking. I also remember feeling his presence there for several hours during the night, but when I awoke in the morning, he was gone.

It was early in the morning, and most of the campers were still asleep. I heard someone snoring as I got out of my van. I went to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. I noticed a tiny trickle of blood on my neck and saw two small puncture wounds when I wiped the dried blood away. How odd, I didn’t remember feeling any bug bites there. And they didn’t itch. Oh, well, they aren’t very noticeable.

I drove around the town some and explored some of the sites. Everywhere I went, I saw the invasion of Deadheads, the brightly colored shirts, and the eclectic styles of clothing and hair. I felt a little strange, sort of light-headed. I wondered if someone had slipped something into my drink at the show, but I could remember clearly what had happened with Armand, up to the point where he licked my neck. I didn’t feel sick or anything, just strange.

I got excited as the time for tonight’s show slowly got closer. Maybe I would finally get to hear “Dark Star!” The band almost never played it anymore, but it would be so fantastic to hear it. The song was only two little paragraphs and the words made sense only if the listener was in an altered state. But the way the Dead played it, with Jerry’s guitar leading everyone down some strange new path, it usually took at least twenty minutes. I had heard many recorded versions of it, but I never had seen them play it.

I got into the spirit of things tonight, putting on a tie-dye dress I had bought the night before, adding a few beaded necklaces and the strange-shaped wire and stone earrings. I finished my attire off with an ankle bracelet. I felt a little foolish, and wondered what my friends would think of me, but they already knew I was a little crazy.

I got in the arena and found my seat. Three rows from the front and right in front of Jerry! This was going to be so cool. I sat and tapped my feet with anticipation. The lights finally went down and the band began to play. It was a fantastic set! They played song after song, and it was if I had handed Jerry a request list. Every song I loved, and they sounded so good. And in the second set, they made my night complete. They played “Dark Star,” and I felt as if it was just for me.

When the show was over, I left the arena and drove back to the campground. The feeling of euphoria was only marred by the thought that they had played all my favorite stuff in only the second show of my mini-tour. What would I look forward to now? Oh well, I knew they still had many more songs to play. I parked my van and headed toward the bathroom.

When I got back to the van, Armand was there. I felt a rush of pleasure when I saw him. I didn’t even say hello, I just opened the van door and got in. He followed me. As soon as the door was shut he kissed me, his cool moist lips tugging on mine. He slipped my dress over my head, and lowered me onto the mattress again. He began touching me, licking me, his tongue slipping over my skin. The coolness of his touch no longer seemed strange to me.

He slipped my panties off and kissed the soft mound of hair. His tongue and lips moved slowly downward, until he found the point of pleasure that made me gasp for air. His touch again left me moaning with pleasure, and he sent me into orbit again. If possible, this was even better than the night before. It was if every nerve ending were enhanced. But I found I longed to feel him inside me, to hear him moan with pleasure, and to feel the weight of his body on top of mine.

“I cannot give you this thing you desire, Christine. You will understand one day, but not yet. Then you will feel something that is more pleasurable than what you long for now. Did you enjoy your concert tonight? I believe your band played your favorite song?”

“You did that! Somehow you did that! How? And why are you doing this for me?”

“No questions, remember? You will know soon, if you wish to know.”

He pressed his body against mine, and his tongue moistened my neck before I felt a slight pain. Then everything went dark again.

The night after the next show I left to drive to Atlanta from Charlotte. The Dead were playing three more shows after a day’s break. It was so late when I arrived in Georgia, I stopped in a rest area to sleep before continuing the trip. I bought a soda at the drink machine and returned to find Armand waiting for me. I started to ask how, but I realized he wouldn’t tell me. We got into the van, and repeated the performance of the night before. When I awoke the next morning, it occurred to me that we hadn’t spoken to each other.

I found a place to camp for the nights I would be in Atlanta. The band wouldn’t play again until the next night, and I realized I could be with Armand all night. I thought about him the whole day, wondering why I never saw him until dark. As soon as it was dark, he was there. As we got into the van, he said, “You are becoming too curious about me, Christine. You aren’t ready to understand my world yet. It would frighten you too much. But soon, you will know and you will beg me to make you as I am. It will be very soon. You are ripening fast.”

I begged him for his body that night, but again he told me that he could not do that for me. “I wish that I could, as I see that would bring great pleasure, but it is too dangerous. I cannot.”

“Dangerous? How? Are you afraid you will get me pregnant? Or do you have some disease?”

He laughed! He couldn’t speak for a moment. “What I have you cannot catch. I have to give it to you.”

He gave me the look that told me not to talk anymore. As his fingers and tongue danced across my skin, I felt the warm rush of pleasure again and again that night. He wouldn’t let me rest. It was as if he wanted to drive the desire for his touch from my mind by overwhelming me with it. I finally begged him to stop.

“Every nerve in my body is on fire, Armand. Please, I have to rest.”

“Rest then, Christine. I will see you tomorrow.”

He touched my neck again with his lips the darkness overcame me.

With each passing day since I met him, I felt as if my senses were enhanced. I heard things I had never noticed before. I could see an ant climbing up a tree where before I would have never seen it. My skin could feel the breeze even when it seemed completely still. What was he doing to me? Somehow he was doing something.

I went to the show that night. The music was so wonderful, but I found that I began to tire of the Deadheads. They began to get on my nerves. I had never felt like that before. I started thinking of Armand, and longed to be with him. I thought about him, what he did to me and how he made me feel. I realized I had missed two songs as dreamed about Armand. When the show was over, I raced back to my van. He was there in the parking lot, waiting for me.

“Christine, you are very eager tonight! I am pleased to see you.”

I put my arms around his waist and clung to him. He held me to him and stroked my hair.

“Don’t make me wait any longer, Armand. I don’t want to be away from you.”

“Ah, I see. I don’t think you understand yet. Let’s go back to your campsite and I will let you see a little more.”

I found myself wanting the kiss on the neck that brought darkness more than the sexual sensations he gave me. His touch still made me cry out at the release, but the closeness of his mouth on my neck was even more thrilling. I felt the darkness closing in around me, but this time, somehow I remember feeling as if life was draining from me. I felt fear, and I wanted to fight the darkness, to keep it from enveloping me. I could feel Armand next to me, and his arms tightened around me. I felt my fear lessen as he took his lips from my neck. He kissed my mouth and I could taste blood? I tasted blood! I remember I felt panic before the darkness took me completely.

I awoke the next morning and remembered so much more about the night before than I ever had. I was afraid of what I could remember, but I wasn’t sure what I feared. I went through the day sitting under a tree next to the van and thinking about Armand. I was completely conscious of the people around me, but I was not there with them. My mind was in a dark enclosed place. I felt almost sick from the tightness I felt. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to see him. As the sun went down, I saw the other campers starting to leave for the show. I got up and walked over to a group that were getting ready to leave.

“Here, I’ve got an extra ticket. Give it to somebody.”

Their enthusiastic “thanks” almost didn’t penetrate my mind. I sat by my tree, and waited for Armand. When the sun was down, he was there. He picked me up and kissed me. We got into the van. He sat next to me on the mattress.

“You know what I am now? I see that you know, but you have not admitted it to yourself yet. Clear your mind, Christine. Remember what I let you see and taste last night. Now, what am I?”

“You are… a… vampire,” I whispered. The horror of what he was made me tremble. He took my hands in his. I realized his mind wasn’t holding me as it had the first day I met him. I could take my hands from him. But I didn’t. He smiled. “Now, you know. And, Christine, you can be with me always. Let me take you there.”

I nodded even though I could feel the terror and panic rising up in me. He kissed my lips, and looked at my face as he felt my trembling. I saw for the first time the teeth he used to pierce my skin. As his mouth lowered to my neck, I wanted to scream no, but his hands roughly gripped me and I felt the intense pain of his bite. I cried out from the pain. I struggled against him, but his strong arms held me tightly. I could feel my life draining away and I grew weaker and weaker.

I could not sit up when he finally stopped. He then ripped the flesh of his arm until the blood flowed freely.

“Take it! Drink, Christine!”

“No,” I whispered, trying to turn away.

He thrust his arm against my mouth and screamed at me.

“You must! Take it! Drink it in!”

He forced my mouth against his arm. I couldn’t resist him. I swallowed the blood, and sucked hard on the wound of his arm to taste more. Once I started I could not stop. As my strength returned, I could see his face, and the pleasure on it was clear. He finally pulled me away from his arm. He whispered. “That is enough, Christine. Now you will be with me for eternity.”

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