No Me Ames

By Susan J.

A few days later Max and Francisco were sitting outside on my patio talking while I was inside changing my shoes.

"So, how long are you going to be out of town Max?" Francisco asked.

"About a week. Can I ask you a favor?" Max asked.

"Sure."

"Keep an eye on Andie. She's like a sister to me and I worry about her when she buries herself in her work and she doesn't come up for air."

"I will, so don't worry."

"Thanks."

I walked outside at that time.

"What are you thanking Max for?" I said.

"For leaving town, this way I can have you all to myself," Francisco said.

"Hmmm, sounds promising."

"Don't get in over your heads now, you two," Max said.

"We won't. So, why are you going out of town?"

"Last minute business conference in Seattle. Should only be about three or four days."

"Wel,l be careful."

"I will."

Max left the following morning, leaving Francisco and I to fend for ourselves. Francisco and I saw every possible site there was left to see in the city. One day we drove all over the city and did some shopping. Francisco was a wonderful person to be around, he made me feel safe and secure. One day I fell asleep on my couch and while I slept Francisco made dinner. I started having a dream, which quickly turned into a nightmare. I dreamt that I was walking on the beach and the water lapped around my feet; all of a sudden a huge wave rolled in and swept me up and took me out with it when it returned to the ocean. I tried to swim back to the shore, but the ocean kept pulling me back to the open waters. I started yelling for help, but no one heard me. All of a sudden I felt like I was being shaken awake, I opened my eyes and saw Francisco standing over me shaking me awake.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"That's what I should be asking you," Francisco said.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard you yelling so I came to find out what was wrong. Are you okay?"

I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine. I guess I was having a nightmare."

"You guess?"

"All right, I was having a nightmare."

"About what?"

"Nothing important, so just forget about it."

"Forget about it? The way that you were yelling."

"It doesn't matter how I was yelling just please forget about it."

"All right, what ever you say."

"Thank you." I got up and walked into the bathroom.

As the days passed Francisco and I got closer; we talked about quite a few things and he told me of his practice back home. I was amazed to see that a man could be so compassionate about a lot of things. One day I was in the living room dusting the mantle over the fireplace. I saw the framed picture of an an ex-friend and myself; I picked it up and looked at it. As I looked at it I started to feel like I was about to explode with anger. I continued looking at the picture and without really thinking what I was doing I threw it with all the strength that I had into the fireplace; it crashed into a hundred pieces. Francisco walked into the house just in time to see what I had done. I didn't see Francisco standing there watching me, I reached for a glass vase that was on the mantle as well and threw it into the fireplace. Francisco saw the fury that I was in and decided to do something before I got totally out of control.

"Andrea, stop!" he shouted.

I turned around to see him.

"Stop what?"

He walked over to me.

"Stop throwing things into the fireplace."

"Why? They're my things and I can do what I want with them!"

I grabbed another vase and threw it into the fireplace as well. Francisco grabbed me by the shoulders and made me face him.

"I said stop it! What the hell is the matter with you?" he said.

I pulled away from him. "Nothing! Just leave me alone!"

I hurried into the bedroom and Francisco followed. I was pacing back and forth like a caged lion.

"Andie, talk to me," Francisco said.

"I have nothing to say to you!"

"Like hell you don't! I walk in and you're throwing things into the fireplace and now you're in here pacing the floor like a caged animal! What the hell is wrong?"

We looked at each other.

"Damn it, talk to me!"

I sat at the foot of the bed.

"Take your time Andie."

Francisco sat on the bed beside me, he took my hand in his and held it gently and he waited patiently until I was ready to talk. I looked into his eyes.

"I can't," I said.

"Why not?"

"I don't know where to begin. There is just so much that I have bottled up inside that I'm afraid that I'm going to explode."

"Honey, you're going to explode if you don't talk to me."

"Please just give me some time, okay?"

"Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise."

"I promise."

He hugged me tightly. I pulled back slightly from his hug and looked at him; he smiled at me and gently touched my cheek, and I felt myself start to shiver at his touch. He slowly moved closer to me and then before I knew it he kissed me. I felt myself start to respond to his kiss in a way that I hadn't responded to any man for quite a long time. Francisco slowly and gently lowered me onto the bed and continued kissing me. I ran my fingers through his hair, I suddenly felt the buttons on my blouse start to unbutton, and then I felt his hand on my skin. I felt myself getting lost in his touch and in his kisses, as he kissed my neck I heard him say something, I pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"What?"

"You said something, what was it?"

"I said I love you."

I looked at him in surprise and sat up.

"What's wrong?" Francisco asked.

"You can't!"

"I can't what?"

"You can't do what you just said!"

"Why?"

I got up from the bed.

"Andrea, what's wrong?"

I buttoned my blouse and as I headed for the door I turned back and looked at him.

"No me Ames!"

I then hurried out of the room.