Please Give Me Strength

By Susan J.

Chapter 4

After the sunrise we walked into the bedroom; Miguel closed the curtains and then walked over to me. He kissed me tenderly on each cheek, I ran my fingers through his hair and I touched his left cheek with the back of my hand. He took my hand in his and kissed it gently. We walked over to the bed and we sat down. He stroked my hair gently, then brushed my neck with the back of his fingers, I breathed deeply and exhaled. I think that this time when we made love it was the most beautiful it has ever been. It was very loving and very special.

“Can I ask you something Serena?”

“Anything.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking of what you said on the beach.”

“What did I say?”

“About kids. We have been together now for what..eight years?”

“Yes, more or less. Why?”

“During the time that we have been together, did you at any time…well did I..”

“Did you what?”

“Did I ever get you pregnant? And if I did would you have told me about it?”

I stared at him in disbelief. “Why would you ask me that?”

“I just started thinking about it. Well, tell me the truth.”

I touched his cheek and looked him directly in the eye. “I will be totally honest with you Miguel. There were a few times that I was late and I started thinking that I might be pregnant, then a few days passed and everything returned to normal.”

“If things hadn’t returned to normal, and you did really become pregnant, would you have called me and told me?”

“I would have called you and told you that I needed to see you, but I would have told you in person and not on the phone.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really - to me it’s such a special thing that it should be told in person. Did I answer your question?”

“Yes, thank you.”

A few days passed and one morning Miguel woke up before I did. He got up and went downstairs and made coffee. He brought a carafe, two cups and a rose in a vase on a tray back up to the room; he put it on the floor and sat down on my side of the bed. He gently touched me on my cheek with the back of his hand and whispered in my ear.

“Serena, it’s time to wake up.”

I opened my eyes slowly and saw him sitting there.

“I made coffee,” he said,

I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes. He put the tray on my lap and we smiled. He poured the coffee, then handed me a cup. I took it and smelled the wonderful aroma.

“Mmmm it smells wonderful, thank you Miguel.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. As we drank the coffee, I gently touched the rose.

“Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful and so are you,” I said. He smiled and it looked like he was blushing.

“Miguel…”

“What?”

“I believe you’re blushing.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s just warm in here. I better turn on the air conditioner,” he said.

“Right.”

I started giggling. He turned on the air conditioner, he came back to the bed and took the tray away and he put it on the floor. As he climbed back into bed to lay down beside me, I was still giggling.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“You are.”

“Why?”

“Everybody at one time or another blushes, it just proves that you have a sweet and tender side to you and I am honored that I have been able to see that side of you.”

“You should be honored.”

“Oh I am, I am.”

He leaned towards me and kissed me passionately. When he looked into my eyes I could see that something was on his mind.

“Now it’s my turn,” I said.

“You’re turn for what?”

“You have something on your mind, what is it?”

“It’s true, I do have something on my mind.”

“What is it?”

“You.”

“Me?’

“Yes.”

“What about me?”

“For the past few months you have been on my mind,” he said in a quiet tone.

“Oh I’m sure that you have thought of me once in a while.”

“More than once in a while, it has become constantly.”

I touched his cheek as he looked at me. “Oh Miguel.”

“You have never left my thoughts or my dreams not even for a minute. As the months passed, there were times when I was on an assignment that I would have to force you out of my thoughts so I could do my work.”

“Oh my.”

“Remember when we talked on the beach and you told me what was bothering you?”

“Yes.”

“You said that maybe you felt like you were missing out on things, such as marriage and having kids…”

“Yes?”

“Well, after you said that it all kind of fell into place.”

“What fell into place?”

“You and me. There are times that I also feel like I am missing something in my life. Ever since the first night I met you, I felt like I was alive again. You see Serena, a long time ago I was married.”

“Really?”

“Yes, she was a lovely girl and she was killed. I was so angry at my loss…well that’s how I got into this business. I thought that by getting rid of people for a fee would fill the hole in my heart and my life.”

“And did it?”

“For awhile it did, but then the feeling came back and I dove deeper into my profession. I realized that the hole was still there and that it would never be filled, that is until I met you.”

I looked at him.

“Miguel, what are you trying to say?”

“What I am trying to say is…”

Miguel breathed in deeply and exhaled.

“Serena, what I am trying with all might to say is that, with you the hole has been filled.” He said in a tone that I’ve never heard.

“Oh Miguel.”

“And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you.”